Forgiveness Foundation International | What You Need To Know About Forgiveness

To forgive “is to grant pardon without harboring resentment.”

It is:

For you, not for the perpetrator. It allows you to live in freedom and joy, regardless of what has gone before.
A process for letting go of the negative emotions and thoughts that produce depression, resentment, and anger so that peace of mind can lay a foundation for happiness.
A skill developed through stages leading to increasing levels of awareness.
The key to achieving your goals and making them a permanent part of your life.

In the twenty-eight years since I began doing this work, I’ve found that simply thinking of the person positively, sending them frequent prayers and love, and looking at how I might be grateful to them, makes a tremendous difference in releasing hostile feelings.

A Simple Way to Understand Forgiveness and Forgive Upsets

In forgiving a financial debt, the debtor no longer owes you the money. It is the same in forgiving a person or situation – they no longer owe you what you want or expect from them. Your expectation could be as intense as wanting to watch them die a painful death or as simple as receiving an apology. Often, it is wanting them to feel the pain you have felt. Forgiving means you let go of what you think or feel another owes you for what he, she, or they did to you.

One truth that has survived through centuries and has been applied worldwide is: “Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.” If you can say that portion of the Lord’s Prayer and truly mean it, truly mean that you have forgiven your debtors, then you are well on your way to conquering anger and resentment.

Letting go of the debt does not mean you should not take care of yourself. Always take care of yourself. Stay Safe! You might ask yourself: By forgiving your offender, how can you take care of yourself so that this doesn’t happen again?

Just as forgiving a financial debt means letting go of what was owed. It is the same in forgiving an injustice. We are letting go of what we expect to get. It might be an apology from someone, an understanding from someone or a punishment. We are letting go of the eye-for-an-eye point of view.

However, it does not mean -to turn the other cheek- nor does it mean, to condone what was done. The offense is not justified in forgiving it. These distinctions are important because, for ages, they have been the major objections to forgiving.

Forgiveness sets limits on our negative self-destructive thoughts. The point of forgiving is to be free of the pain of an upset that occurred in the past. Self-forgiveness is also extremely important because the guilt from past actions harms our mind, body, and spirit.

It increases rational clarity because it removes emotional upsets and stress that cloud our minds and hearts. With that clarity, rational decisions can be made in all areas of life. However to get to the point of forgiving, sometimes we must quiet the mind with stress reduction methods.

It wipes away the effects of the past regardless of whether it was thirty years ago or 15 minutes ago, allowing us to more fully experience the present moment, which is the only time we really live in.

Forgiveness is the process of taking our power and control back from the other person. We can take back our happiness. Our happiness is dependent on our own actions. It is our decision alone. That decision can be made anytime. Of course, it is easier if the person apologizes or changes his or her behavior, but those things are not necessary for forgiveness to occur.

Find out what forgiveness is not: the myth and lies-link

The American Heritage Dictionary (2021) Forgive,